The main changes I’ve made to the story are:
- The title – Into The Wild didn’t go well with the storyline. I felt it would confuse the audience as to what type of story this is. Therefore, I changed the title to ‘Reconnect‘ because the older friend is reconnecting with his childhood friend who he hasn’t seen in years. I felt this title goes well with the message of the story which is – It is never too late to reconnect wth a loved one.
- Character names – Ogilvy and Bobby were changed to Matthew and Jakey. I felt their new names should suit their personalities. EG. Matthew is an official man who prefers to be called by his full name. His name has a lower toned note at the end, this makes him sound more serious.
Originally I wanted to the change the charters to being brothers rather than friends, but then I realised that his boss would not have given him a case about his brother’s death. That would be too personal and unrealistic. Therefore keeping them friends was the best option.
Things to think about from teacher feedback.
From the group project, our teacher noticed some plot hole in the story. I intend to fill them in this interactive story.
Plot holes:
- Why does he value his job over everything?
- Why does he want this promotion
- Why does he pass the promotion at the end?
- Why is he emotionless over seeing one of his old schoolfriends dead?
Answers are:
- Why does he value his job over everything?
He wants to be the best. Doesn’t want to end up like his Dad, a drunk. He also needs the money to help support his Mum.
- Why does he want this promotion?
He is competitive and believes when he gets his promotion he will finally be the best and it will solve all his problems.
- Why does he pass the promotion at the end?
He wants to reconnect with Jakey and he is weary that the promotion will prevent him from doing so like it has for all these years.
He learns that no promotion is more valuable that spending time with a loved one.
- Why is he emotionless over seeing one of his old schoolfriends dead?
He needs a clear head, that means removing any emotional attachment he has to this case. He doesn’t want to seem weak.